Etiquette Classes Inspire Kids to Best Behavior
First published July 18, 2007 and reprinted with permission from the Eagle and Times, Coronado, California
By Nina McDonald

It's a rough world out there. Ask any parent of young kids today what some of their biggest child-rearing challenges are, and instilling respectful, civilized conduct certainly tops the list. What parent hasn't cringed at a child's public display of bratty behavior or rude speech? Today's children are incessantly confronted with a wide range of images and language that grows progressively more graphic. From television and video games, to the internet and beyond, an ever-increasing tide of influences are delivered via media that constantly strives to push the edge of acceptability. Often consumed without the benefit of parental guidance, these influences can turn impressionable youth into manner-less monsters in minutes.

Where is Nanny McPhee when you need her?

Enter Karien Bennett. Bennett is the owner and primary instructor for The Club 4 Me: a combination etiquette and life-skills school for elementary and middle-school children. The striking fifty-something mother of three is an enthusiastic and sympathetic combination of a magical British nanny and prim Miss Manners, with a little bit of glamorous fairy-god-mother thrown in for good measure. Tall, naturally graceful, with wide blue eyes and glossy jet-black hair, Bennett radiates warmth and sophistication. It's easy to see how both parents and children are captivated by her.

"She is fantastic," says Laura Orlowsky, whose daughters Zofia and Kaleen attend Bennett's classes. "Karien was the first person I thought of [when I wanted to give the girls some etiquette lessons.] She is lovely and epitomizes good manners, beauty and elegance. We know the girls are in good hands. Sometimes it's not enough for a parent to teach you." Hope Wiley, whose daughter Natalie is also in Bennett's class agrees. "Coming from another person like Karien, instead of just mom or dad, and seeing your friends do it too is much more powerful. It really reinforces what I try and teach her at home."

For Bennett there is almost nothing more important than inspiring children to rise to a higher level of social awareness and behavior. She explains her objective in a charming Afrikaaner accent. "I tell the kids; some of you speak English, some Spanish. My son Austin speaks four languages. Manners are also a language. It is a new language for you to learn; but it is the same language all over the world. Kids today are highly educated in just about everything except manners. Society demands so much of us today; these are life skills we give the kids. My students stand out because of their manners. This will become second nature for them."

Bennett comes by her love of children naturally and her ability to teach them etiquette by heritage and experience. Born and raised in South Africa, Karien began her career in education, as a first grade teacher, and ballet instructor. She has over twenty-five years of experience working with children and young adults. Her professional accomplishments include successful clubs for teens, radio and television programs relating to etiquette and social issues facing teenagers, as well as articles in various publications.

While in South Africa she started the etiquette and social skills organization known as Club 16. Throughout South Africa, Club 16 became one of the most sought after organizations for teenage girls. It is still remembered fondly by past members, which include a number of Miss South Africa contestants. In 1990 Bennett relocated to Southern California where she worked as a career counselor, assisting international students who wished to study in the United States.

Bennett's family provided a natural springboard for her future work and her father inspired her to work with children. "We grew up very British, with proper manners and social observances. I always loved elegant things. Every class I do is little bit different, but it's always a little bit about style. My dad used to say to me that when God was giving out patience and hair I was last in line and got to take everything that was left over," Bennett says with a laugh. "I have never found a kid I couldn't work with. I love children. I tell them they are all stars."

Bennett adds that her father advised her that if she would work with children, her life would always be blessed. "And he was right. I may not have always had money or other things, but I have always been so blessed by the kids in my life."

While Bennett initially intended her Coronado classes to be only for girls, Bennett's eight-year-old son Austin urged her to open the lessons to boys resulting in a "Mr. Cool" class for first, second and third graders as well as the already popular "Little Miss Manners" classes for girls.

Bennett conducts the lessons in her sun-dappled front yard and patio and sometimes goes on location to a restaurant for special lessons in table manners. However, these are not your basic "eating-with-the-right-fork" and "remembering-to-say-please-and-thank-you." Classes. Bennett's believes in equipping her students with skills they can build on for the rest of their lives.

She covers an incredible variety of practical topics. Cooking, sewing, posture, flower arranging, telephone manners, trying new foods and the inevitable dilemma of what to do when you don't like what you just put in your mouth. Introductions and first impressions, personal grooming, spot cleaning and how to create and write and respond to invitations, as well as how to respond when you are not invited, are all addressed.

Students never leave Bennett's classes empty handed. Bennett showers her pupils with various presents designed to delight a kid's heart. From tiara's for the girls to inexpensive watches for the boys, all are treasured by Bennett's pupils. Parents say their children leave feeling special and ready to cope in any social situation.

The lessons tend to reverberate within the child's family as well. "I always give them something to take home to make sure they thank their mothers for giving them the classes. The boys are really into it. They observe each other at the classes and correct the ones who forget to close their mouths when they chew or grab things off the table. I've had father's drop off their sons and tell me that their son has asked them why they don't open the car door for their mom?"

Bennett also works with her students on conflict resolution, dealing with cliques and being rejected by friends. Sandi Burke, takes her son Adam to Karien's house once a month for etiquette lessons. "I think manners are so important. They seem to be missing from society today, Karien is so gifted in socializing the kids and teaching them how to deal with conflict and be considerate to one another. She deals with their feelings of hurt. She really teaches them how to handle all that."

For more information go to www.theclub4me.com or call Karien Bennett at 307-9015.